Zarganar's joke "Prayer from Burma"

Credit: By Kaung Kin Pyar, MoeMaKa News.

In Burma, among Burmese people, we have variety of prayers for our Buddhist religion. But in those tiring days, came a new kind of prayer for our true believers.

The story goes like this; while one of the renowned comedian, ZarGaNar, was arrested for his participation in recent monks' boycott to the Burmese junta, he was continuously harassed and interrogated by the army officers at the unknown location.

Then at one point, one of the military intelligence officer asked "Do you still have any jokes left for us, now?"

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Jokes: Customer Care in 2020

Operator : 'Thank you for calling Pizza Galaxy Kholi . May I have your...'

Customer: 'Hello, can I order..'

Operator : 'Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?'

Customer: 'It's eh..., hold........ ..on..... .889861356102049-998-45-54610'

Operator : 'OK... you're... Mr Singh and you're calling from 43rd Floor, Akask View Apt, Cantt Road, .......Your home number is 40941366, your office 76452302 and your mobile is 0142662566. Which number are you calling from now Sir?'

Customer: 'Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?

Operator : 'We are connected to the system Sir'

Customer: 'May I order your Seafood Pizza...'

Operator : 'That's not a good idea Sir'

Customer: 'How come?'

Operator : 'According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir'

Customer: 'What?... What do you recommend then?'

Operator : 'Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it'

Customer: 'How do you know for sure?'

Operator : 'You borrowed a book entitled 'Popular Hokkien Dishes' from the National Library last week Sir'

Customer: 'OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then, how much will that cost?'

Operator : 'That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is Rs 2249.99'

Customer: 'Can I pay by! credit card?'

Operator : 'I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank Rs10,720.55 since October last year. That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir.'

Customer: 'I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw
some cash before your guy arrives'

Operator : 'You can't Sir. Based on the records, you've reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today'

Customer: 'Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?'

Operator : 'About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always come and collect it on your scooter.. .'

Customer: ' What!'

Operator : 'According to the details in system, you own a Lambretta 1969 Vintage Scooter,...registration number USE 8999...'

Customer: ' ????'

Operator : 'Is there anything else Sir?'

Customer: 'Nothing... by the way... aren't you giving me that 3 free
bottles of cola as advertised?'

Operator : 'We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're also
diabetic.... ... '

Customer: #$$^%&$@$%^

Operator : 'Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 11th Nov 1986 you were convicted for using abusive language on a policeman who stopped you for driving through a one way, in fact you were driving a 1973 Ambassador bearing registeration number UTD 4267.......

Customer: [Faints]

Jokes of the Day

>> Prospective Employer to Applicant: "So why did you leave yourprevious job?"
> > Applicant: " The company relocated and they did not tell me where!">> ________________________________________________________________
> >> > Wife: "Sir, I would like to call on my husband who left me andbrought all our five kids with him."
> > Radio Host: "Ok, go ahead!"
> > Wife: "Sweetheart, please return back all the kids, actually onlyone of them is yours."> >
_______________________________________________________________
> >> > Hello! I'm here again. My mind is all muddled up. I just want toask something. I know that you will be able to help me out. Is BIRDS FLU the past tenseof BIRDS FLY?> >
_______________________________________________________________
> >> >You were riding a bus, when you suddenly fart. Luckily the music is very loud.
> > Every time you farted, you timed it with the music.
> > When you were going down the bus, everybody were throwing dagger looks at you, and you suddenly realized that you have your MP3 player on your ears!

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Jokes: Humorous Quotations About Marriage

David Bissonette
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

Sacha Guitry
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

Socrates
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

Anonymous
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

Dumas
The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, 'What does a woman want?

Sigmund Freud
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

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Jokes: Kids

Teacher: History is a very interesting subject. It tells you about what had happened in the past.
Student: Please teacher, I don't think I want to study history.
Teacher: Why?
Student: There is no future in it.
...................
Teacher: Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much would your father still have?
Ted: $10.
Teacher: You don't know maths.
Ted: You don't know my father!
...................
Mother: David, come here.
David: Yes, mum?
Mother: You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.
David: But I will only get my report book tomorrow.
Mother: I know that. But I am going to Hong Kong tomorrow, so I am scolding you now.
...................
Father: Why did you fail your mathematics test?
Son: On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8
Father : So?
Son: On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8 And on Wednesday, she said 6+2=8. If she can't make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?
......................

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